PREVENTION OF PREMATURE EJACULATION
Clearly, few of these causes can be readily prevented by any one man or his partner because they go back to his upbringing-or indeed hers. Often a professional can help cure such background misunderstandings or inhibitions and so help the man regain his control. For many such men their premature ejaculation is an unconscious way of avoiding sex yet neither they nor their partners realize this is so. The prevention of further trouble involves sorting out the root cause and this can be time-consuming and difficult.
However, many couples don’t want to go down this path and would like to try something themselves. This is certainly worth doing, as it can produce good results and prevent premature ejaculation becoming a way of life. Here then are some basic preventive tips:
• If the man thinks the woman in any way contributes to the problem he should say so and the couple should talk it through. If he feels that he is trying to get back at her for some other dissatisfaction in life then they should talk it out and resolve the other problem in another way so that they don’t carry it over into sex.
• If the couple are having sex too infrequently so that he becomes ‘trigger-happy’ the answer is usually obvious. If more regular intercourse is not possible the man should masturbate every few days or his partner could masturbate him.
• Open display of the woman’s sexuality, including the sharing of her fantasies, helps many such men to start to see women as earthy sex-loving human beings instead of a sexless Madonna who should not be defiled. This sort of revelation alone can make a lot of difference.
• A very good and well-proven preventive is for the man to masturbate or get the woman to masturbate him (to orgasm) before intercourse. This defuses the situation and the man can later have a controllable orgasm to the pleasure of them both.
• Using a sheath can so reduce the level of sensation that the man receives from his penis that he can sometimes be totally cured of his problem.
• Weak anaesthetic creams or ointments work in the same way.
• Stop-start intercourse can also produce good results. In this the man makes love, but as soon as things begin to get too excited he stops thrusting and concentrates on the pattern of the wallpaper or counts the rings on the curtain rail, for example. Many women enjoy this teasing intercourse and it can help the man learn how to control his progress to ejaculation.
• A little alcohol can be a good preventive. It reduces the man’s anxiety about the act of intercourse (and he also has an excuse should things go badly).
• Here is an exercise for a woman to do with her partner, to help him learn to recognize the ‘almost there’ signs that his body produces and to be able to control them. This can be done by any caring couple who really want to succeed.
Set some time aside one evening and take the phone off the hook. Read something sexy or get in the mood in whatever way you choose. The woman should stimulate the man’s penis until it is fully erect. He then tells her when he feels he is about to climax, so that she can squeeze his penis very firmly (putting her finger and thumb on opposite sides of the rim at the base of the head), which will stop his erection in seconds.
Once he is limp she can start to re-stimulate him until he is erect again, whereupon she can squeeze him again. Continue this cycle until the woman can erect the man and collapse him at will for up to half an hour. At the end of this session she should masturbate him, or he should do so himself, so that he is not left ‘high and dry’.
Once you have practiced this for a few sessions you will be confident that he can control his ejaculations. In the next few sessions the woman can stimulate the man as before, but instead of squeezing his penis to stop the erection, she should leave his penis alone when he says he is about to climax, perhaps even getting him to do something else around the house. Repeat this procedure several times at one session. End with masturbating him as before.
The next stage involves the woman giving the man a really hard erection and then getting on top of him and gently putting his penis inside her. She should just sit on it without moving, getting him used to the feeling of being erect inside her and not ‘coming off. She should then move gently, and when he feels he is about to come off she either squeezes him with her fingers as before or lets him go down of his own accord.
Slowly, over several weeks the woman will be able to exert such control over the man’s penis that he will never come unless they both want him to. After such training most men can take over their own ejaculatory control and remain erect for half an hour or more inside their partner’s vagina, only coming when she is also ready.
*5/72/5*
